Reminiscing 2009 , Forgetting 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010;

 
"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it"-William Feather

Was having a nice twitter convo with Shila yesterday about how much we missed the Malay classes with Cikgu Rabiah last year.. It struck me that I not only miss Malay Lessons but also the entire of the J1 year.. I had no worries back then to be honest.. Not even Promos scared me.. I was very relaxed.. I had fun all the time.. Anywhere, anytime..

Even Hockey was fun.. No commitments to make, had a little bit of conflicts but that didnt matter so much cos I wasnt the one involved.. Hell, I'll even admit that I miss those crappy PW days..Cos I couldnt care less about my group, I just listened in for the sake of it which explains why never really bothered about getting all stressed about it..

I guess the best part of J1 was that I really really had nothing to worry about.. Settling in was fine.. I had and still have 3 awesome buddies to get me used to the system.. Though we did have our rough times, we recovered smoothly enough to be ok by the end of the day.. And I had BM, and Hanan to support me too.. Though U7 was a little bit of a phony, not knowing where the hell one came from, I enjoyed it.. So called friendship problems didnt bother me.. Everybody was nice.. Maybe I wasnt too nice to a couple of people but at least I stayed true to what I feel.. No fake niceness.. So care free.. I cant seem to find all that this year.. Ok maybe a little bit, here and there.. I still have my awesome 2 friends plus 3 bestfriends to help me through school.. And I made another 2 good friends, one that I can absolutely trust.. 

I dont know, I really dont know.. I feel lost most of the times this year.. I wont say that it's the A's that's weighing me down..  It's something other than that.. Fact is I know what it is, and a couple of other people also know what it is just that, I dont wanna say it.. I dont wanna admit it.. Forget it.. It's pointless anyways.. Let's hope that I get through the year well, graduate from this quick enough and not fall apart anytime soon.. All I want is to have fun again.. Is it too much too ask for?

Trust is subjective. I dont trust half the people whom I used to trust last year anymore.