Trust
Saturday, July 31, 2010;

 "I promise with all my heart and soul that I'll keep you close where ever I go"

Back to blogging on a friday night. Had nothing to do.. Well, I actually have lots to do but I'll do em later or smthg..

Anyways, it kinda struck me today how Trust is actually a pretty big word.. The context of it is deeper than I actually thought it'd be.. Thinking back on my own life, there really isnt much people whom I find that I can trust.. There are a couple, but I guess if I'd stop being so cautious about everyone, I'd probably have more people to express my whole hearted feelings to.. I have a couple in school that I can talk to.. Hanan, clearly being one of them.. And my girlfriends.. And WOWWLG.. I'd share my problems and my secrets only with them..

I dont know.. In school today I heard about a certain teacher of mine who spoke very badly of her student, a certain friend of mine.. I've got to say that though I know that she's kinda biased to a selected few and all, I was really shocked by what she said and did.. It made me and my other 3 friends wonder what other things she could have said to her colleagues about us, the unfortunate majority whom she probably dislike due to our poor performances in exams and tests.. I admit that I do talk about other people but I know well enough not to go to the latter's friend to create any animosity between them.. Now I think that's really wrong.. I can't even trust my teacher, an adult with much knowlegde and life experience..

Well, anyways, I've got this certain tendency to feel really happy and excited when people said that they trust me.. Haha!! Call it lame, whatever, I just feel very honoured and sometimes really touched that people would actually entrust me with their information.. Funny how I see it.. Cos I've been called a big gossip monger which is so not true cos whatever I share happen to be facts.. I know one of them who called me that ended up telling me a big secret of hers.. Yeah, we had our connnections but both of us know that those connnections are slowly gg away especially with her shooting her mouth off like nothing's wrong.. Regardless of what might happen in the future, especially in the next 4 months while I'm still in the same class as her a promise is a promise..

Fragility. It is beginning to scare me.